I've found it very helpful this week to think of ways to achieve the desired outcome with constructive dialogue as outlined in the notes, rather than targeting the child with comments like "you never do this or that" or "why don't you listen when I ask you to do something".

I've found in a couple of situations especially with my 6 year old son that by describing the problem or giving him choices, he seems to respond better than when I blow a fuse at him not obeying my instructions without me having to ask over and over.