I had to apologise to Lynden today - my more tricky middle, Aspergerish child. On Monday, when it was hot, I had parked quite far from the school and he had to walk a block with no shoes on. He moaned and groaned and moaned and groaned and nothing I said could stop the whining.

I had promised an ice cream or ice bite, but when I got home I said " that's it -  No Ice creams for kids who moan and complain so much". While I said that I noticed that I was really mean and that I felt pure revenge. He was really mad.

Today I apologised to him - told him that I was wrong not to buy him an ice cream without warning him first that that would be a consequence. He appreciated the apology, and I got a hug tonight - quite a rare occurrence.

The course has been so good for us. I'm glad we have done it together as our different parenting styles were a real source of conflict in our marriage and neither of us really knew how to right it.  I've still got a long way to go, but the mood in the house has changed and there is a whole lot less frustration and aggression all round. I didn't think that would be possible.

With Johanna enjoying her evening bath she requested I sit with her and have a conversation about the day. We shared our individual highlights and I then decided to consciously acknowledge her for the ease with which she is saying good-bye to me in the mornings before school.

Ruth: ‘’I think that it is really great that you are saying good-bye to me before school so easily and happily AND that you are finding your own place on the mat without teacher support’’.

Johanna (big smile): ‘’I know, thanks.’’

Our conversation then continued for a while before I communicated that it was time to get out the bath.

Ruth: ‘’I have put your pyjamas on the heater and they will be warm now. Would you like to get dressed next to the heater or next to the fire?"

Johanna: ‘’Great job mom’’.

Ruth (puzzled expression)

Johanna: ‘’Great job mom for putting my pyjamas on the heater.Rreally mom, I mean it and I want to get dressed next to the heater please’’.

Now it was my turn for a big smile!

%PM, %08 %758 %2012 %19:%Apr

Which foot is the fastest?

Written by

Charmaine and I were on our way to fetch Yvette from school.  We arrived and were about to get out of the car when I noticed that she had taken her shoes and socks off en route.  I started with: “Come on Charmaine, let’s put your shoes on before we get out of the car and was met with the usual: “No, don’t need my shoes on!”

I started to try and explain that it was cold and wet outside and her feet needed to stay warm and dry but wasn’t getting anywhere.  So instead I said, ‘I know, why don’t we let your feet have a competition? Let’s see which foot can get its shoe on the fastest.  You help your feet get the shoes on and I’ll count and see which one wins.”  Charmaine’s face lit up and there was a mad scramble to get her shoes on.  Job done, quick and easy and so much more fun!

This week has been a particularly stressful week, compared to last week which went rather smoothly. At some point this week I felt despondent, disempowered and some what disappointed. I was questioning myself, the course etc.

It was as if Ethan went to bed as 'Ethan the good' and woke up the next morning as 'Ethan the Horrible'.... He has this sense of entitlement and control, things must only be done on his terms. He is a rather challenging child on an average day so as you can imagine things have been rather tense.

This is from an eight year old and I dread to think of how a fifteen year old would be like. Joshua on the other hand is making up for lost time and has felt the need to irritate his brother, he seems to be getting a smug kick out of it. He has his own sense of entitlement.

This morning I was pondering the whole situation and broke the last month down into parts and realized that it all part of the process. This is how it is meant to be for us and I can now see the bigger picture and do not have unrealistic expectations.

We have shifted as a family and are all going through major shifts and adjustments of our own. I look at Brad and how he has had to shift in such a dramatic way in such a short period of time to keep up with Ethan and Joshua. I have had to be on my toes and try to be one step ahead of the whole family to keep everyone grounded with the progression of change.

I now can look back and think that in fact we have come pretty far and we have not too badly at all. Yes things are not perfect but they will never and we are learning “ to make lemonade when handed lemons” with the tools we have.

%AM, %07 %421 %2012 %11:%Apr

The Leila Benelli Show interview

Written by
  • What makes a good parent?
  • How does a parent create awareness and insight?
  • What to do when you want your child to cooperate with you quickly and effortlessly?

An interview covering a wide range of topics and skill sharings. Skills on praise, cooperation, parening beliefs, awarenesses, etc.

Length 54 minutes

{mp3remote}https://s3.amazonaws.com/Audio-interviews/leila_interview_Feb1012_med.mp3{/mp3remote}

Eventhough this clip is about autism, I believe it stands true for every child. We must be aware of what we are judging and how we are labeling our children. When we come from a space of wanting to understand, then maybe then we can really support our children in becoming the beings they wish to become.

%PM, %05 %888 %2012 %22:%Apr

Do SOMETHING DIFFERENT . That's resonated with my soul

Written by

Do SOMETHING DIFFERENT . That's resonated with my soul, and there have been lots of little chances to implement it.
Adrian, now 7, doesn't listen. Ever. This morning I called him for breakfast, and he ignored me. I called again. He ignored again. Usually I would call another 3 times before my husband would come and shout at Adrian for not listening and I would shout at my husband for shouting at Adrian – I know this is silly, but it is how it has been for us.

Do something different I thought.

So I walked over to where Adrian was, and looked him in the eye and said in a firm voice  " I have called you twice and you haven't come. I need you to come and eat your breakfast now, and to come when I first call in the future."

He didn't fuss or scream like he usually does, but came and ate his breakfast, and my husband didn't need to get cross, and its a much better dynamic. I know as I do it more and more Adrian will come earlier and earlier. There’s light at the end of my tunnel.

Positive recognition and descriptive praise: We know that it is important, but we aren't taught the HOW to do it.

And do you fall into the trap of using it to get what you want?

Length: 2:17 minutes

{mp3remote}https://s3.amazonaws.com/Audio-interviews/SAFM_positive_recognition(mp3).MP3{/mp3remote}

 

This interview is part of longer one on SAFM radio. The longer one can be heard here

%AM, %04 %958 %2012 %00:%Apr

I don't want to go to bed!

Written by

Jane was standing outside her bedroom door not wanting to come in to go to bed.  I was waiting patiently on the inside after having tried sharing information, giving choices and describing how I feel which made me decide to try some humour and imagination.

I pretended to be an airline hostess and Jane’s bedroom was the aeroplane.  We were about to close the doors and fly to Thailand so I needed her to come aboard. At first she just smiled, looked at me and said:  “No thanks. I don’t want to come aboard”.

But I know she loves flying long distance and really wants to go back to Thailand, so I pretended to talk to some people on the plane about what food to expect on the plane and the movie choices.

Within a minute Jane came in willingly and we climbed into bed and continued our role playing of passenger and hostess for a little while longer.

The bedtime was a little later than I had wanted it to be but I really had fun and felt connected at the end of the day. Jane even slept better than she usually does!

%AM, %02 %441 %2012 %11:%Apr

I had my anger: it didn't have me.

Written by

As I mentioned in the workshop last week, I have found each segment of the course to be very dense and loaded with food for thought. It has had a significant impact for me in rethinking how I communicate with my children and more specifically what I communicate to them.

Last week I chose to look for more appropriate ways to praise Jenny as often what I had been saying and doing previously left her feeling frustrated. As occasions presented themselves, I described things clearly for her and gave her recognition by choosing specific words, that even if she did not understand them, she then asked me what they meant.

During these times of more cognitive praise Jenny was far more interested in what I had to say and would actually stop what she was doing to listen to what I was saying. My general shift in language in the home has contributed to Jenny's awareness of language and how it can work for her.

One evening while I was tying up her hair for bath, she told me specifically how she is a 'problem-solver' and a 'listener'. In both cases she gave me examples of how she fulfills these roles in school. This week has again been empowering. The most remarkable change for me is that I'm finding it far easier to remain calm even when angry.

Using the skill of 'having my anger and not being my anger' has helped me to work through difficult issues with the children. By clearly stating upfront where my boundary lay with certain situations the children were able to respond and not feel intimidated by my anger.

We have all been much happier and finding it easier to look for alternative solutions and then engaging them to diffuse difficult situations. Thank you for your insights and I look forward to this week's session.

%AM, %02 %436 %2012 %11:%Apr

How to solve a problem by describing

Written by

The social skill of taking turns is one that takes time, patience and many long faces to develop. On this day, we had our play-dough table nestled up against the wall and only two seats for the children to sit at.

After about ½ an hour, some children came up to me complaining that they wanted a turn at the table. I asked them if they had spoken to the other two at the table and they said that they had. I thought that it was that time again to start developing sharing skills.

“Okay guys, we have two children playing dough and another two who would like to play. What shall we do?”

Both parties voiced that they each wanted to play. We were heading towards a system of time allocation when another child (5yrs old) who was standing nearby piped up and said.

“I have a good idea. Why don’t they move the table away from the wall and put another two chairs on the other side, then all four children can sit at the table?”

My mouth hung open for a while till I said, “That sounds like a good idea. What do you all think?” The children agreed and they organised themselves.

As I was walking away from the table I mentioned to the idea-giver, “Ashwyn, that was a good idea. You thought a lot about how they could solve their problem. Now they can all play together.”

He responded, “I know, I have lots of good ideas. And I have lots more at home.”

%AM, %02 %430 %2012 %11:%Apr

How my praise is now changing her life!

Written by

I have had to practice this more on Johanna than Emily as my child has gone back to her Mum.  I do not have a specific list of examples I wish to relate as I have found that acknowledgement and praise presents itself more often than I thought.  Often for many little actions. 

I have had to practice very hard at using more effective words in the act of recognition.  I have been teaching Johanna to put her hand up when she coughs.  When she started observing this request I told her what a polite little girl she was.  So I think in terms of my growth, my style is changing and I am beginning to break some daft ways. 

Oh another one!  Emily is very skilled at making tiny little models out of crazy clay.  When I acknowledge what she shows me I am now using “how dexterous you are”.  She did not know what this word meant but, she does now.  So this exercise of using meaningful words to describe an action worthy of praise or recognition is more specific and actually teaches the child more about her own skills and what the skill or action is in language. 

Perhaps children may learn quicker through this form of praise what it is we are trying to teach them.  How can we expect them to be “polite” if they can’t associate actions that make one polite?

I had 2 instances this weekend where I used the skills we have been exposed to so far.  The challenge for me was that in both instances parents of the other children were present.  I felt very uncomfortable as I knew what went through their minds whilst they kept quite through the process.  However, I was successful in both instances, phewwww.....
 
Saturday night Cailin and Jessie-Lee both wanted Cailin's little purse full of money. Jessie-Lee had it at first but was soon snatched from her by Cailin.  Jessie-Lee started crying so I told Cailin that I will keep the purse on the table as we have a challenge in that both children wanted the same thing. Cailin started shouting at Jessie-Lee with the usual: " I don't like you! I am not your best friend!"

By then we had both children crying.  I asked Jessie-Lee what she would like from Cailin so that this does not happen again.  She kept quite and did not want to respond. The same happened when I asked Cailin. I then told them that we will chat about it later and we will try and resolve it when they are both ready.

Cailin then smiled and said: "Let's jump on the trampoline". I knew my response would be that she can't so I tried putting it into questions. By then Jessie-Lee was also very excited to go outside. I asked the girls how we could jump when it is dark outside - Cailin was very quick and said: "Let's take the torch"..... I was outsmarted.

So I asked them how we could jump when it is freezing cold outside - Cailin answered: "Let's put our jerseys on"...... outsmarted AGAIN.....  I then asked how we could jump if children have snotty noses - Cailin again answered: "Let's get the tissues" and off she went to get the toilet paper.  
 
Jessie-Lee and Cailin blew their noses time after time until their noses were stone dry. Cailin then saw the purse on the table and said to Jessie-Lee whilst taking it: "Come Jessie-Lee let's share the money and let's play". Jessie-Lee very happily joined her on the floor. 

I then knew that this was the time to conclude the conflict resolution. I asked Cailin what she would like from Jessie-Lee in future so what happened earlier can be avoided and she answered: "I want Jessie-Lee to share the purse". I asked Cailin to tell that to Jessie-Lee which she did and she added spontaneously: "Sorry for shouting at you". I asked Jessie-Lee the same and she said that they must share. They left the table and played like old friends again.

In the early part of last week it seemed liked there was a lot of conflict in our family and by the end of the day I was feeling quite drained. Negative thoughts and feelings kept coming through. For example, “Am I not learning anything? Or at least am I not using the tools I am learning effectively?” “Why does everything feel like such a challenge?”

But by the second half of the week I started seeing such a change. It became evident that the girls had actually learnt so much from the conflict of the earlier part of the week. With this I realized that there will always be conflict and communicating effectively does not mean that there will not be conflict. As long as we keep resolving things and learning from the conflict situations then we are actually on the right track.

When I went into the ‘From punishment to guidance’ session I found myself feeling so chuffed to realize that in many instances I actually had been doing things in the ways that were suggested. It was so gratifying to realize that what we are learning is becoming a natural way to respond to situations.

Of course I fully expect to have many, much more challenging situations along the way but I am now beginning to understand that it is all part of the journey and that in itself is very liberating!

My husband and I put many of the tools you have given us to practise in the holidays and it made an enormous difference to our family interactions. The result was a harmonious and relatively stress free holiday for all of us.

I can't even begin to tell you how our family dynamics have changed since participating in your course - we are profoundly grateful to you for empowering us as more effective parents with your wealth of knowledge which you are able to convey with such warmth and humour.

  •  I don't want to use the negatvie techniques my parents used on me.
  • I want to find other ways to parent than my parents did on me

We spend more formal time to learn to drive a car than to communicate effectively with your chlid.

Length: 3:34 minutes

{mp3remote}https://s3.amazonaws.com/Audio-interviews/SAFM_why_parent_training(mp3).MP3{/mp3remote}

 

This interview is part of longer one on SAFM radio. The longer one can be heard here

Page 7 of 10

A list of all blog posts below

  • Why your kid's school is not getting them business ready.
    Why your kid's school is not getting them business ready. [This article by Robin Booth was published in Fast Company Oct 2017) "Have you just wasted the last 12 years of your life at school?” This was the question I asked over 2000 of South Africa’s top school graduates as their key note speaker at the Gibs business school annual career expo 2017. They quickly quietened down when I shared the reality of their future: 1)    If you think you can choose a career, the…
    Read 1046 times Read more...
  • Making it to the top with the world’s No. 1 Wealth Coach, JT FOXX
    Making it to the top with the world’s No. 1 Wealth Coach, JT FOXX Six months ago my story sounded very different. I had kept doing what I had always done and had kept getting what I had always got. Then something changed.My results in the last 6 months: - Have a $15 million property development on the table. - Started, grew and monetised three different businesses 2 of which are global. - Spoke on 7 different stages with audiences up to 1800 people, in different cities, sharing wealth…
    Read 2228 times Read more...
  • Mandela taught this South African man a good lesson
    Mandela taught this South African man a good lesson The Mandela name is famous throughout the world. But did he pass on those values and that humility to his children and grandchildren? And how did Madiba understand success? I was determined to find out when I interviewed his grandson Ndaba Mandela (see the video of the interview)
    Read 1130 times Read more...
  • Zuckerberg shares the top 5 secrets on business success and parenting
    Zuckerberg shares the top 5 secrets on business success and parenting Zuckerberg has a secret, and I think I have discovered it! Zuckerberg is a household name throughout most of the world. Millions of people use Facebook and know that Mark Zuckerberg is the founder.  And his sister, Randi Zuckerberg, is also known as the one who took Facebook to the next level. I got to connect to her (both on and off stage), and asked her about how she builds connection and trust, both as…
    Read 993 times Read more...
  • Wayde van Niekerk:The 5 things the world’s fastest runner taught me
    Wayde van Niekerk:The 5 things the world’s fastest runner taught me Wayde van Niekerk is an Olympic Gold medallist at the Rio 2016 Olympics, smashing a 17 year old world record for the 400m. And if that is not enough, he is the only person to do the following three: Run the 100m under 20secs, the 200m under 20secs, and the 400m under 44 seconds. Even his close friend Usain Bolt’s jaw dropped when Wayde won the Olympic race! I had the pleasure to connect to…
    Read 1237 times Read more...
  • No parent is an island- Blog
    No parent is an island- Blog $500 000 to be donated  (R7 000 000) - and YOU can even get a part of it! Robin summited Island Peak at 09:26 th on the 29th April 2017. The following days over 7500 online courses were distributed worldwide totalling over $550 0000. Below is the outline of the project! I have persuaded the directors of the non-profit education organisation, Synergy Schooling, that if I can summit Island Peak in May 2017 (it's a…
    Read 718 times Read more...
  • The modern day parenting crisis
    The modern day parenting crisis We want to parent to the best of our abilities. And at some point on our journey we promise this to our children. And we want the best for our children. But how can we prepare them and give them the best chance for happiness and success? This lecture looks at the top skills that the top companies are looking for in the youth of today. These are the qualities YOU as the parent can…
    Read 923 times Read more...
  • How to get your children to cooperate by giving them choices
    How to get your children to cooperate by giving them choices If you want your children to cooperatre and listen to you the first time around, then try this skill first! Why? Well.... because it works.. no matter the age of the child, and in nearly all situations. It's clever, it's fair, it's emotionally intelligent, and creates connection between you and your child.
    Read 924 times Read more...
  • Which cooperation techniques do you use with your children?
    Which cooperation techniques do you use with your children? If you don't know which techniques of yours are damaging your child, then how will you be able to change them? This lecture covers some of the default ways most parents are currently using to get their children to cooperate. Take note that they ALL are based in the negative and undermine the child. The result.... your child feels fear, guilt and powerless!
    Read 1160 times Read more...
  • Ouch! My bad parenting skills could be costing me over $100 000!
    Ouch! My bad parenting skills could be costing me over $100 000! The most important thing about understanding our modern day parenting crisis is knowing how much this crisis could be costing us. But we know it costs us frustration and patience. In this lecture I show you how we calculate how much time we are wasting, as well as how much this could be costing us in money! 45 minutes x 7 days = 22 hours per month x12 months = 270 hours in a year.
    Read 824 times Read more...
  • How can I get my child to do extra homework?
    How can I get my child to do extra homework? The value of getting a child to do extra homework is not about force feeding them with irrelevant information and time consuming content, but in supporting them in the skills of self discipline, planning, organisational development and perseverance.  But regardless of the REASON as to why your child has extra homework to do, the skills needed to get them to do so can be the same.  We have found that what works best is to…
    Read 822 times Read more...
  • How to help my child when he is bullied at school?
    How to help my child when he is bullied at school? As I write this, my child is currently being bullied at school. So the things I share in this lesson come from direct experience that produces results. And the irony is that supporting Cailin (aged 9) is actually the 'easy' part. It is trying to support and handle her mom that is the challenge.  When your child is bullied, such intense emotions arise, often evoking thoughts of wanting to go to school the next year…
    Read 879 times Read more...
  • Separation anxiety when going to school. Please help!!!!
    Separation anxiety when going to school. Please help!!!! As a pre-school teacher and then a primary school principal, my staff and I found many creative and intelligent ways to help families overcome the heartbreaking challenges of separation anxiety.   The key focus in separation anxiety is in supporting the transference of trust and safety from parent to school. And this will nearly always be done by building the quality of the relationship the child experiences in the school environment.  By increasing a child's sense…
    Read 1182 times Read more...
  • My daughter keeps asking to sleep in our bed. What should I do?
    My daughter keeps asking to sleep in our bed. What should I do? Getting children to sleep in their own beds, and to fall asleep on their own is one of the most frequent topics that comes up between parents.  And although each family has their own theory about this, there are general things you can do to support the implementation of YOUR choice. The most strategic and intelligent way to resolve this is to find ways to give your child what they are needing, but on your…
    Read 1198 times Read more...
  • Any ideas on what I can do to stop yelling at my child?
    Any ideas on what I can do to stop yelling at my child? Are you a shouter? 88% of parents find themselves shouting at their children and nearly all of them feel guilty afterwards. When some people get angry they turn this anger inward and go quiet (and the anger burns inside). Other people vent this anger outward, and often this comes out as yelling and shouting. And although this may be your default experience, you can change this with the skills I cover in this lesson. Increase…
    Read 1137 times Read more...
  • How can I handle my toddlers roller coaster emotions?
    How can I handle my toddlers roller coaster emotions? As our children develop, so they are learning about their own emotions during this stage. It can really help for a parent to see their role in supporting their children make meaning of these emotions, instead of blaming and accusing their children for having them. A good example of changing your wording can be seen below: Instead of saying "You are a bad boy." or "You are wrong." Label the behavior instead of the person:…
    Read 1060 times Read more...
  • The secret praise skill pyschologists use so they're always honest and authentic.
    The secret praise skill pyschologists use so they're always honest and authentic. This lesson comes from my latest online course and covers my favourite skill and the one I use each and every day without any risk of over doing it. Describe what you see or hear without judging it as good or bad. Share what your favourite part is. In any situation you will always have one 'part' that you prefer to another. Therefore by using this skill you will never be lying, or be inauthentic.…
    Read 1200 times Read more...
  • What is the proper way to speak to a stubborn teenager?
    What is the proper way to speak to a stubborn teenager? Getting teenagers to listen to your suggestions, your advice and your boundaries is one of the stages of childhood that parents dread the most.  The most important part of dealing with teenagers is the degree to which you can make them feel you are also on their side, EVEN when you put in place your firm boundaries.  The challenge for parents of teenagers is in HOW to assert the authority and control in a way…
    Read 1025 times Read more...
  • How to talk to my teenager about the things they do that I don’t like?
    How to talk to my teenager about the things they do that I don’t like? The teenage years can be incredibly confusing for both the child, and for us as parents.  Sometime our teenage children do things that totally boggle our minds, leave us wondering how they can be so 'stupid' or 'unconscious'. Why do they take such big risks... do they know that they can go to jail for life if they did that again? The parent in this lesson asked me the appropriate way to speak to his…
    Read 937 times Read more...
  • Your cheeky child says, "Well mom.... that's your problem, not mine."
    Your cheeky child says, "Well mom.... that's your problem, not mine." Parents are getting angry when children are just not taking responsibility for making things work.  It's a great test of patience when you apply a new skill you have learned, only to find your child throws it back in your face, leaving you feeling depleted and angry. But don't panic! This is what conscious and intelligent parenting is all about. We begin to expect the unexpected, and learn how to handle all the curve balls…
    Read 953 times Read more...
  • How can I stop shouting at my child and reacting in anger?
    How can I stop shouting at my child and reacting in anger? The sudden outburst of anger and shouting can surprise a parent as much as their child. If often arises from a deep raw emotion and quickly wells up and becomes overwhelming. And it can be incredibly difficult to stop it when you are deep in the heart of it. In this lesson I share three things that a parent can do in this situations. Learn new skills that will prevent you from getting to this…
    Read 1029 times Read more...
  • What cooperation skills work best on toddlers?
    What cooperation skills work best on toddlers? Understanding the Language-Transition phase will really help you keep your cool when you know your child has heard you, but still doesn't do what you have asked. This lesson looks at the developmental stages of young children and how their language development is faster than their levels of self discipline and control. You will also explore the difference between distraction based techniques, and language based techniques, and when to use one, or the other, or…
    Read 981 times Read more...
  • How do we stop losing control when our boys whine?
    How do we stop losing control when our boys whine? A child that keeps nagging and whining pushes nearly every parent's buttons.  And it seems that regardless of the issue your child is whining about, what seems to bug the most is the WAY in which they bring it to your attention. When they whine like that it kind of comes from a victim-entitlement attitude. So what we are wanting is to support our children in speaking 'CLEARLY' to us, so we can actually 'HEAR'…
    Read 937 times Read more...
  • Is time-out for kids still a good thing to use?
    Is time-out for kids still a good thing to use? 'Time-out' is regularly used by parents and teachers throughout the world. But is it really constructive? Does it really develop your children's values of responsibility, or does it just increase thoughts of revenge and unfairness?
    Read 1159 times Read more...
  • I tell my son there are NO monsters under the bed – but he doesn’t believe me
    I tell my son there are NO monsters under the bed – but he doesn’t believe me When it comes to bedtime, children can come up with incredibly imaginative ways to keep you by their side. And monsters hiding under the bed is one of them.And as obvious as it may be to you as the parent that there are no monsters under the bed, and you can prove this to them, they still don't believe you.
    Read 1059 times Read more...
  • Robin Booth on WE CHOOSE RESPECT PARENTCAST
    Robin Booth on WE CHOOSE RESPECT PARENTCAST What is the future of education? What will schools teach in the future? Or more importantly, what should the school be teaching tight now! Robin is interviewed by one of the Top Parent Podcasts listed on iTunes.
    Read 1280 times Read more...
  • 3 clever parenting skills that will help you survive the holiday season
    3 clever parenting skills that will help you survive the holiday season Children on holiday, extended family cramped into your house, patience decreasing and tensions mounting? The holiday season has its risks: The statistics show increased divorce and suicide rates! Now this may not be due to parenting challenges but there is no doubt that this period of time has its parenting downs as well as highs. So here are my top 3 skills for managing the lows, and building up the highs, so you can move…
    Read 1572 times Read more...
  • How to support your child persevere when they want to give up
    How to support your child persevere when they want to give up "My son gives up when an activity starts becoming difficult... how can I support him persevere?" You may have mixed emotions when you see your child struggling with an activity. Discomfort, irritation, frustration, empathy, and at times your heart goes out to them when you can see they are giving their all. And then they want to give up! But what can you do to keep them persevering, even when it gets tough? What words…
    Read 1500 times Read more...
  • Mom, he is not letting me have a turn on the ipad!
    Mom, he is not letting me have a turn on the ipad!   What would you do if your two children kept fighting over whose turn it was on the ipad? How do you decide whose turn it is, and what is fair for both children?
    Read 1560 times Read more...
  • You can't use my ipad ever again!
    You can't use my ipad ever again! Here's a story about a mother who was worried about her 11 year old son playing too many games on her ipad. So should she forbid him to ever play it again, or maybe try this idea I shared with her...
    Read 1530 times Read more...
  • Your choice of words may be harming your child
    Your choice of words may be harming your child Avoid these words below as they hamper your child's language development.Of course you want the best for your child! And I know you don't want to see a look like this picture above on your child's face. But your choice of words may be doing more harm than good. So I am going to share with you how you can change that with the following simple skil.
    Read 1669 times Read more...
  • What a child says after me getting her to be more respectful: Problem Solving
    What a child says after me getting her to be more respectful: Problem Solving You want your child to be more polite and respectful. But how do you get that? And how do you get her to feel inspired to take on that challenge? Robin shows you the results of a problem solving session where she rated herself at a 4 out of 10 in being respectful at the beginning of the session, and ended off with a big smile and inspired by the possibilty of being 10 out…
    Read 1782 times Read more...
  • Star charts: The Observation Model in detail
    Star charts: The Observation Model in detail This is the most powerful model of the star chart concept that I know. Its the simplest and most powerful of all the models as it requires the least skill, the least time and effort, and is the simplest to understand for both you and your child.  
    Read 1965 times Read more...
  • The Top 5 things Robin Booth learnt about Parenting and Cooperation with Randi Zuckerberg
    The Top 5 things Robin Booth learnt about Parenting and Cooperation with Randi Zuckerberg Randi Zuckerberg and her brother Mark started Facebook together. In many ways she has been accredited with the phenomenal growth of Facebook due to her marketing skills. And she is a parent. I met her last year (2013) in the USA, and have listed below the Top 5 things I learnt from her during that  conversation on parenting, children and what motivates people.  Read on...
    Read 1992 times Read more...
  • Amanda has other parents watching her as she deals with her fighting and upset children
    Amanda has other parents watching her as she deals with her fighting and upset children So you have some conflict between your children? Maybe they are fighting over a toy? Maybe you are at a child's party and the other parents are watching you. The pressure is on. Here is a sharing from Amanda, a parent who has done my workshops. Read how she worked with the conflict, how she supported the children with their ideas, and how she created the flow again, in spite of a high degree of…
    Read 1657 times Read more...
  • Taflyn takes her injured and screaming child to the hospital, and is scared herself
    Taflyn takes her injured and screaming child to the hospital, and is scared herself A dog bites a 6 year old boy, and blood is gushing out of the wound. He thinks he is going to die and keeps asking his mom that. The mom, Taflyn is traumatised, but is reminding herself to stay focused and support her son while driving to the hospital for stiches. By the time they get to the hospital, he is telling everyone else he is okay, and after the stiches, still goes home…
    Read 1581 times Read more...
  • Star charts: The Perseverance Model
    Star charts: The Perseverance  Model Just one model of a star chart is not enough. Your child may be excited to start, but if they don't experience some form of success continously, they may lose interest and drive. So how do you keep them motivated, even while they may be slipping up and not always succeeding at what they are learning? Learning is a process... so read on to find out how to keep their sprits up and feeling they…
    Read 1724 times Read more...
  • Star charts: Bribery and Manipulation, or a great tool? The Observation Model
    Star charts: Bribery and Manipulation, or a great tool? The Observation Model Are star charts just another form of Bribery? And how can you keep a child motivated over a long period of time? And how do you determine what the prize/ celebration will be? In all my research on Star charts, there is only one basic model, and it really only works in certain situations, and for a short amount of time. That's not good enough for me. So I want to share some of my…
    Read 1754 times Read more...
  • Rene cleverly uses the DISC profile to get a pay increase
    Rene cleverly uses the DISC profile to get a pay increase Rene has asked for a pay-rise on two previous occasions. She was now angry ,frustrated, and impatient. And then she realised that her boss was a high "C" in the disc profile and she was approaching him with her high "D" profile. So she figured out what to do and got her pay rise. Watch the video to see how she did it. length: 05:15
    Read 1900 times Read more...
  • Choices within a boundary - what if they reply... I don't want to...?
    Choices within a boundary - what if they reply... I don't want to...? Have you had that situation where you apply a skill and it doesn't work? So you apply a variation of the skill, and it still doesn't work? Your child replies with, "I don't want to..." Well this happened to Mari and she asked me what she could do... This video was my reply, taking her deeper into the insights of the skill of "Setting the boundary and giving choices within the boundary." length: 13:25
    Read 1890 times Read more...
  • 3 children in my bed - and how I changed it to a morning of flow
    3 children in my bed - and how I changed it to a morning of flow Every few days I get a story from a parent who has had a breakthrough in using their new skills. This one really shows how Intelligent skills can create amazing results and blissful flow. And this is for real. I did not edit her story except just change the names.
    Read 2219 times Read more...
  • Filming teachers using the Praise skills with Children
    Filming teachers using the Praise skills with Children I want to show you the praise skills in live action, on children, at school in a class. And watch their faces as their smiles beam from ear to ear. You can also do this, consciously and intelligently by learning these skills!  length: 5:46
    Read 2081 times Read more...
  • How to avoid the mistakes that parents make when using praise
    How to avoid the mistakes that parents make when using praise Do you also experience praising your children at times and they just don't believe you? Are you making the same mistake as this parent in the way she is praising? Do you know how to avoid the most common mistake when praising your children?  This video clip shares how to avoid making those same mistakes.  length: 3:31
    Read 2064 times Read more...
  • Why these parents are getting these incredible results.
    Why these parents are getting these incredible results. I have often wondered what it is that gets these parents these results. Cooperation, trust, flow, harmony. I think I know at least one answer. To get these results, this is what you have to understand, and do.
    Read 2073 times Read more...
  • I want the truth. Who started it?
    I want the truth. Who started it? “I walked in to the bathroom where my twin sons were having a bath. There was water on the floor, water on the mirror and my sons’ four year old faces grinning up at me. I asked them who had splashed water on the floor. No one said anything. I told them I wasn’t going to punish them, that I just wanted them to be honest.” I said I wasn't going punish them, but that…
    Read 1950 times Read more...
  • If you ever get stuck, ask yourself these questions
    If you ever get stuck, ask yourself these questions Here are a list of questions that are guarenteed to get yourself unstuck from any situation you find yourself in. A free e-book which is a quick and easy read.
    Read 1924 times Read more...
  • When I was 7 yrs old, my mother made this gift for my children.
    When I was 7 yrs old, my mother made this gift for my children. 33 years after my mother died (when I was 7 she died), I find out she knitted some clothes for MY children (which would be her grandchildren). Out of the blue I have something made from her own hands.
    Read 1838 times Read more...
  • A parent takes Robin's suggestion on how to get their son to sleep in his own bed.
    A parent takes Robin's suggestion on how to get their son to sleep in his own bed. Your child keeps nagging you to sleep in your bed with you? Robin shared how he solved that in his own home, and Amanda decided to try it out. And it worked. See the video clip of her sharing her new found skills.
    Read 2056 times Read more...
  • Is every day of my parenting life going to be like this? Hear Brad's response
    Is every day of my parenting life going to be like this? Hear Brad's response Brad asks this question regarding some of the everyday challenges he faces in being a parent: "Is this going to be my life for the next 20 years?" and everyone laughs because we all seem to have these kinds of days. This video clip is taken from the workshop session on "The introduction to Intelligent parenting". And when parents have finished the session, we ask them what they got from the session and what they…
    Read 1902 times Read more...
  • The top 5 reasons why intelligent parenting will lead to success
    The top 5 reasons why intelligent parenting will lead to success I ask the parents in the workshop, "Why are you here tonight?". This stumps many of them. Some reply back humorously, "I asked my wife the same thing. I thought we were perfect parents." Amidst the grins and chuckles, my reply to them is to share why I WAS THERE that night, what could I offer and what could become possible for each and every parent there.
    Read 1911 times Read more...