Getting teenagers to listen to your suggestions, your advice and your boundaries is one of the stages of childhood that parents dread the most. 

The most important part of dealing with teenagers is the degree to which you can make them feel you are also on their side, EVEN when you put in place your firm boundaries. 

The challenge for parents of teenagers is in HOW to assert the authority and control in a way that keeps the teenager feeling she still has autonomy and feels empowered.

When a parent realises that their default parenting style was not really their choice but more of something inherited from their own parents and culture, then new possibilities open up.

But it is not your FAULT for this… you did not choose this as you were growing up.... but now it is your responsibility to do something about it.