Here you say back to the person the same words they said to you (so you are like a mirror. It doesn’t mean you understand anything of what the other has said).
Space to explore:
Creating space for them to deepen their own understanding: This is about saying as little as possible and allowing the other person to keep sharing (as they don’t have to listen to you but can keep exploring what they are saying. It is about you being attentive. It also doesn’t mean you have to understand anything of what they are saying)
You reflect back the same content of what the person has shared with you but using your own words. It can be a bit like translating what they have said into your own words, ensuring that the meaning stays the same. This shows you must have understood what they said, but not necessarily the motivational meaning behind it.
Understanding what they are saying:
You actually do understand what they are saying and what they are meaning (your skill in listening well) but as yet do not know how to convey that back to them (your skill in articulating this back to them).
Making them feel understood: meaning:
The Skill in making them feel you have fully understood the meaning of what they have said and them experiencing this, (they will keep nodding their head and saying ‘yes’ to you!)
Making them feel understood: motivation:
understanding what core need is motivating them to express what it is they are trying to express, even though what they are saying may seem to be different.
Consciously listening their soul into discover and disclosure.
Creating strategic spaces and questions for them to discover and disclose themselves to themselves.