Your choice of words may be harming your child
Avoid these words below as they hamper your child's language development.
Of course you want the best for your child! And I know you don't want to see a look like this picture above on your child's face.
But your choice of words may be doing more harm than good. So I am going to share with you how you can change that with the following simple skil.
Problem Solving recording
Problem Solving Live session recording:Step 1: Invitation/context setting ask permission to talk about a situation and if now is a good time. length: 35 minutes of explanations and solutions
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Reflective listening
The purpose of this exercise is to support you in accelerating your skills development in reflective listening. Reflective Listening: You reflect back the same content of what the person has shared with you but using your own words. It can be a bit like translating what they have said into your own words, ensuring that the meaning stays the same. This shows your listener that you must have understood what they said (but not necessarily the motivational meaning behind it).
Exercise 1: I will read out a list of statements, with a pause of 2 seconds before I share my thinking of how I would go about finding a possible reflective listening response. If you wish to give that example a go, then press the pause button and work out what your response would be. When you are ready, click play and hear my reasoning and final sentence. There are 6 examples in this clip.
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Share what you need
The purpose of this exercise is to support you in re-training your response time to some of the most common everyday situations of when we say No or Don't or Stop. We have given you some possible wordings of the responses to these situations, but please don't see these as absolute and definitive.They are a start. Also, the use of word 'please' depends on certain situations and we have no specific rule for this. We suggest you determine if the specific circumstance you find yourself in requires a gentler approach, then use is as it does soften the statement. We also suggest that if you have alternative responses that work better for you then please use those. Ultimately, the aim of this process is to support you in finding a respectful and positive response that will get you the cooperation you require, at no expense to yourself. We have also found that the more 'fluent' and confident you are in your alternative responses (ie there is no hesitation in your response), then the more powerful your communication will be. That is why we have designed the following exercise to help you learn some responses so they are on the tip of your tongue. Exercise 1: I will read out a list of negative statements, with a pause of 4 seconds before I share what I feel could be an appropriate response. The 4 second pause is an opportunity for you to practice your own response. Then I will read out the next negative statement and wait another 4 seconds before sharing another appropriate response.
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Acknowledging emotions
The purpose of this exercise is to support you in the skills in being able to continue a conversation, or to deepen it. We want to be able to provide our children with a container in which explore their thoughts, ideas and feelings about their world. Age 5 group:Exercise 1: I will read out a list of statements that your child may come up with. There will be a pause of 5 seconds before I share what I feel could be an appropriate response. Then I will read out the next statement and wait another 5 seconds before sharing another appropriate response.
Exercise 2: I will read out a list of statements with a pause of 4 seconds before moving on to the next statement (I will not be reading out the appropriate response. This exercise is best used when you are already familiar with your appropriate responses and just want to test yourself quickly)
Age 10 group:Exercise 1: I will read out a list of statements that your child may come up with. There will be a pause of 5 seconds before I share what we feel could be an appropriate response. Then I will read out the next statement and wait another 5 seconds before sharing another appropriate response.
Exercise 2: I will read out a list of statements with a pause of 4 seconds before moving on to the next statement (I will not be reading out the appropriate response. This exercise is best used when you are already familiar with your appropriate responses and just want to test yourself quickly)
Age 16 group:Exercise 1: I will read out a list of statements that your child may come up with. There will be a pause of 5 seconds before I share what we feel could be an appropriate response. Then I will read out the next statement and wait another 5 seconds before sharing another appropriate response.
Exercise 2: I will read out a list of statements with a pause of 4 seconds before moving on to the next statement (I will not be reading out the appropriate response. This exercise is best used when you are already familiar with your appropriate responses and just want to test yourself quickly)
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