I am at a cross roads and stuck...
Written by Kim Cassidy (a teacher who worked with me at Synergy Schooling)
And today I find myself at a crossroads - yes a self imposed one, not created by anyone else other than me. I came to a decision that I HAD to do something about a certain situation that has not been working for me and I thought that I must do something about it TODAY!
How I got our 5 year old to do some adventure sports
- How do I get a 5 year old to step out of her comfort zone and take on new challenges that may be scary for her?
- How can I increase the emotional intelligence of my child?
- How do I create a mind set for my child of one of 'success'?
- Going horse back riding over night: 6 hours on horse
- Ziplining by herself over trees and the canyon
- Caving underground with bats and spiders
- Facing a nervous mother Rhino
On a recent trip to Swaziland, I took on the challenge of doing just that. Here is a video clip of achieving those goals.
Your Parenting Enneagram insights
This is what you will find out below:
- what values and characteristics form the underlying foundation of your parenting style
- ways to avoid unconsciously imposing your world view on your child
- what gets in your way of having really amazing relationships with your spouse/ partner and child
- how to increase your own personal growth which results in you being a better parent
I have spent a long time scouring the internet for some really useful insights into the different Enneagram types and how this relates to your parenting. I have personally I have found this incredibly helpful in understanding myself, my relationships, and my parenting style.
If you haven't taken your FREE ENNNEAGRAM TEST to find out which TYPE you are, then click here to have your mind blown away.
The www.enneagraminstitute.com is a really great resource and a lot of the information below comes from that site. Obviously I am wanting to emphasise how these insights can support you in being a better parent so have just included it here for you.
I have split up this information into the following topics:
- In parenting
- In relationships
- In personal growth
- Understand more about how you influence your child's personality
In Parenting
The following chart indicates a few of the major expectations of each type of parent toward their children, no matter what type their children may actually be. Being aware of these unconscious expectations and not allowing yourself to manipulate your children into having to measure up to them will go a long way toward improving parent-child relationships.
| What Parents Expect from Their Children | |
| Type one | May demand self-control, reasonableness, regularity, and the ability to delay rewards—that their child be a Little Adult |
| Type two | May demand generosity, thoughtfulness, helpfulness, and attention to others—that their child be a Little Helper |
| Type three | May demand being outstanding at tasks, fulfilling family hopes, physical perfection, and popularity—that their child be a Little Star |
| Type four | May demand sensitivity, artistic creativity, emotional depth, and understanding—that their child be a Little Therapist |
| Type five | May demand independence, studiousness, intellectual gifts, and curiosity—that their child be a Little Genius |
| Type six | May demand dependability, obedience, perseverance, and trustworthiness—that their child be a Little Trouper |
| Type seven | May demand vitality, good humor, resilience, and spontaneity—that their child be a Little Entertainer |
| Type eight | May demand toughness, self-sufficiency, courage, and willpower—that their child be a Little Entrepreneur |
| Type nine | May demand quietness, lack of demands, gentleness, and non-needinesss—that their child be a Little Angel |
One of the best attitudes for parents to have toward their children is
Your parenting style answered using the DISC profile test
This will help you understand your parenting style better.
A few weeks ago (17th May, you can see it here)I posted a blog on how you can do the DISC personality profile test (worth $250) for free. And below are some interpretations on how those scores relate to your parenting style and why some of that 'FLOW' in the home may not be working as well as you want.
I am a high 'S' and 'C' type whcih means I love stability, routine and attention to detail. No wonder I am good at setting boundaries and ensuring they are kept. My profile is also great at doing it the correct way the first time (great for getting cooperation and discipline).
But I'm a low 'I' which means I am more introverted and 'cool'. The children find me less approachable, and difficult to read. It now makes sense why I spend so much time on learning communication skills because I was never a natural. I had to learn all the tricks so I could get the results I need.
Here are my last 2 days of work on finding insights and material so you can interpet your own scores form the perspective of parenting and better understand why you parent the style you do, and how you can avoid some of the mistakes you didn't know the causes of.
Personality tests that could help you parent with greater awareness.
Once you have taken your test, read how your type influences your parenting style here:Disc and parent styles
If you struggle to get your children to cooperate with you, or to take your boundaries seriously, it may be due to you both having different behavioural personality types.
You may be a parent who expects your boundaries to be met (you would therefore be a high "C" parent) but if your child is a high "I", they don't like consistency and hard fast rules. The outcome: a lot of stress, tension and misunderstanding.
But now imagine that you know which type you are, and which type they are, then you would now know which appropriate skills and techniques to use to get what you needed done.
Or what about your child's needs as a way of guidance from you?
• High “D” children need challenge and dominance.
• High “I” children need recognition and interaction.
• High “S” children needs appreciation and service.
• High “C” children needs quality answers and correctness.
Can you see that your way of interacting with them could now change with awareness and understanding of your different default styles? How much more empowered you can act knowing which style of parenting skills to use to impact your child respectfully and effectively?
The Tony Robbins test will give you HUGE insight into your personality. And then I will share with you how to interpret your DISC scores in the context of parenting. Just make sure you have signed up to receive my blog notifications as within the next 3 weeks I will be posting some results for how you can use your own personality DISC scores to determine your parenting styles and challenges (you can sign up for the blog updates in the top right hand side of this web page. But if you aren't signed up I can't send them to you).
Here is a link to taking the DISC profile personality test provided by Tony Robbins (value is $250). He is one of the world's best life coaches (and he gives it to you for free).
Click here for the TONY ROBBINS DISC PROFILE TEST
I am so excited for you find out some valuable insights into your personality styles (just make sure you receive my blog updates so you can get the parenting interpretations when I send them out. Sign up in the top right hand side of this web page.)
You can now view what this means for your parenting style on my blog:
This Personal Strengths Profile, or Disc Index, is a modern interpretation of Dr. William Marston's behavioral dimensions. Marston's research uncovered four quadrants of behavior which help to understand a person's behavioral preferences. This Disc Index will help you understand your behavioral style and how to maximize your potential.
"Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength, mastering yourself is true power."
—Lao Tzu