Emotions (32)
These are skills and stories from the online session on ACKNOWLEDGING EMOTIONS. If you wish to make sure you still have an excellent relationship when your child is a teenager, then this skills is essentail. Click here to see more about this session.
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Any ideas on what I can do to stop yelling at my child?
Written by Robin Booth
Are you a shouter? 88% of parents find themselves shouting at their children and nearly all of them feel guilty afterwards. When some people get angry they turn this anger inward and go quiet (and the anger burns inside). Other people vent this anger outward, and often this comes out as yelling and shouting. And although this may be your default experience, you can change this with the skills I cover in this lesson. Increase your awareness of what triggers you, learn how to express your anger intelligently and appropriately so your children hear you instead of fear you, and then find ways to practice saying this. Just by knowing WHAT to do instead of yelling will help in over 40% of the yelling situations you find yourself in.
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How can I stop shouting at my child and reacting in anger?
Written by Robin Booth
The sudden outburst of anger and shouting can surprise a parent as much as their child. If often arises from a deep raw emotion and quickly wells up and becomes overwhelming. And it can be incredibly difficult to stop it when you are deep in the heart of it. In this lesson I share three things that a parent can do in this situations. Learn new skills that will prevent you from getting to this kind of situation in the first place. Learn how to invite cooperation instead of having to resort to punishment and harsh boundaries. This is not just wishy-washy skills but strategic steps (more like a science than magic). Increase you own levels of emotional intelligence and shift from being a reactive parent to a responsive one. Put in the effort to do some personal development work. Learn how to apologize effectively (and this is not just…
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How can I handle my toddlers roller coaster emotions?
Written by Robin Booth
As our children develop, so they are learning about their own emotions during this stage. It can really help for a parent to see their role in supporting their children make meaning of these emotions, instead of blaming and accusing their children for having them. A good example of changing your wording can be seen below: Instead of saying "You are a bad boy." or "You are wrong." Label the behavior instead of the person: "That is the wrong behaviour'. But to make it really powerful, understand that an even better way to say this is to label it as "INAPPROPRIATE" behaviour, instead of bad or wrong.
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How to help my child when he is bullied at school?
Written by Robin Booth
As I write this, my child is currently being bullied at school. So the things I share in this lesson come from direct experience that produces results. And the irony is that supporting Cailin (aged 9) is actually the 'easy' part. It is trying to support and handle her mom that is the challenge. When your child is bullied, such intense emotions arise, often evoking thoughts of wanting to go to school the next year and confront the child yourself. But now YOU become the bully of a young child. And so the cycle repeats itself. It takes a lot of emotional intelligence for a parent to apply the skills I teach in this lesson. But if you are able to hold and process your own emotions, you will be able to turn this tragic situation into an incredible learning process that will development the strength and character of your…
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Taflyn takes her injured and screaming child to the hospital, and is scared herself
Written by Amanda
A dog bites a 6 year old boy, and blood is gushing out of the wound. He thinks he is going to die and keeps asking his mom that. The mom, Taflyn is traumatised, but is reminding herself to stay focused and support her son while driving to the hospital for stiches. By the time they get to the hospital, he is telling everyone else he is okay, and after the stiches, still goes home and gives that dog a big hug.... What happened here? What magic did Taflyn use? The skills she used she learnt through the workshops.... Read on...
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A parent takes Robin's suggestion on how to get their son to sleep in his own bed.
Written by Robin Booth
Your child keeps nagging you to sleep in your bed with you? Robin shared how he solved that in his own home, and Amanda decided to try it out. And it worked. See the video clip of her sharing her new found skills.
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Is every day of my parenting life going to be like this? Hear Brad's response
Written by Robin Booth
Brad asks this question regarding some of the everyday challenges he faces in being a parent: "Is this going to be my life for the next 20 years?" and everyone laughs because we all seem to have these kinds of days. This video clip is taken from the workshop session on "The introduction to Intelligent parenting". And when parents have finished the session, we ask them what they got from the session and what they are going to take away from it. See what Brad shares with relief.
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The top 5 reasons why intelligent parenting will lead to success
Written by Robin Booth
I ask the parents in the workshop, "Why are you here tonight?". This stumps many of them. Some reply back humorously, "I asked my wife the same thing. I thought we were perfect parents." Amidst the grins and chuckles, my reply to them is to share why I WAS THERE that night, what could I offer and what could become possible for each and every parent there.
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Do you have these qualities of an Intelligent Parent?
Written by Robin Booth
1. If things are not working for an intelligent parent, they do not just resign themselves to accepting the way things are. 2. They know they can have it all, while still enjoying the meaningful connections to their children and other family members.3. They have a deep respect for themselves and for other others and for life.4. They know that they have the responsibility to make it work in their family relationships and keep striving to make things happen.5. Intelligent parents take action. They do not stay in a place of complaining about how 'hectic or difficult their children are. see the video clip (4 minutes) of this introduction to Intelligent Parenting session.
Tonight, Brian (my youngest of two and a half years old) was postponing bed for about 15 mins with all kinds of futile ideas. I said, “Come lets go to bed Brian!” “NO! I don't want to go to bed.” He was clearly upset, his foot stomping down and looking at me very determined. I tried a different tactic by showing him I wanted to understand. I said "So it sounds like you don't want to go to bed now?" “No!” I said to him that I would love to take him to bed now and I would like to know what I could do to take him to bed without him crying? Surprisingly, he just said, “Ok we can go now”. I could not believe this. It is as though my just showing him that I had wanted to understand was the puzzle that unlocked him. YES!
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How I got our 5 year old to do some adventure sports
Written by Robin Booth
How do I get a 5 year old to step out of her comfort zone and take on new challenges that may be scary for her? How can I increase the emotional intelligence of my child? How do I create a mind set for my child of one of 'success'? Going horse back riding over night: 6 hours on horse Ziplining by herself over trees and the canyon Caving underground with bats and spiders Facing a nervous mother Rhino On a recent trip to Swaziland, I took on the challenge of doing just that. Here is a video clip of achieving those goals.
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From a crying child to a laughing child with this one skill
Written by Amanda
Ever been in a car and your children start to whine, cry and want to go back home? Your child agrees to not taking along the toy, but then in the car they change their mind and throw a tantrum. Wish you could change a crying child into a laughing one? This video clip is taking from the online session on Acknowledging Emotions. Amanda shares how she used the skill of fantasy and changed the whole mood of the car. In her words, she says, "It was really that easy." This skill is the one most parents laugh at when I first teach them it, but it is the most commonly used one that brings the most success.
I have noticed a real difference this week. The change, not surprisingly, has come from a change in my attitude. Brandon needed to have blood drawn on Monday and a painful injection today. Instead of getting frustrated and telling him that I know it hurts but he has no choice, I really listened to him. While in the car going for the blood tests he was very upset, screaming that he didn't want to go and that it would hurt. I was honest with him and said: "Yes it would hurt but not for very long. I know you are scared and that is ok. It's not nice for you to have to have injections, I would be nervous too. I will be with you the whole time and help you through it." While the crying continued he was not quite so hysterical and neither was I. He got over it…
This morning, my son Brian, (2 and a half years old), wanted pink pops in his bowl. But the box was finished and he was really upset and started crying. I used the skills of giving fantasy and said, "You really want pink pops for breakfast today, hey?" He nodded. "I am sorry Brian the pink pops are finished but imagine 6 boxes of pink pops coming down from the sky and lots of pink pops pouring down into your bowl. That would be really great, hey?" The crying was history and his eyes were lighting up with excitement. "Yes!” I carried on with questions as to what it would be like for him, “And if lots of different cereals could pour down, which ones would you choose?" "Pink pops... and Special K... and Pronutro, and Cheerio’s". The pink pops drama had swiftly come to an end.
