“I walked in to the bathroom where my twin sons were having a bath. There was water on the floor, water on the mirror and my sons’ four year old faces grinning up at me. I asked them who had splashed water on the floor. No one said anything. I told them I wasn’t going to punish them, that I just wanted them to be honest.”
I said I wasn't going punish them, but that was because I didn't understand that emotionally I was punishing them far more than a smack or "No TV tonight!"
And this is why...
- every wondered what a difference you may be making for your child?
- have you ever seen how something so small can have such a large impact somewhere else?
- what would you do if you were this boy.... would you make a difference?
This story has been around the block many times and seems to be a huge driver for teachers. Often teachers wonder what impact they are having, and at times find it difficult to spend so much time on one child when our whole education system is in crisis.
Sometimes we can't predict what the outcomes of our actions are going to be, so we just take it a step at a time.
- You would do practically anything for your children, right?
- Your love for them literally has no boundaries?
- You wish to give your child everything they need?
Although this is one parent's amazing story, I reckon you would do the same as well.
Although this seems like an extra-ordinary story, I still feel that this happens every day in many ways, through out the world.
This is a tribute to you as a parent, where ever you are, and what ever you do for your children.
Please share your insights, your inspirations or comments below:
- How do you know if you are overprotecting your children?
- How much risk is a good thing?
- Can risking something turn into a good thing?
A great quote says, "many a one has succeeded only because he has failed after repeated efforts. If he had never met defeat, he would never have known any great victory.'
Every time we try to protect our children from possible failure or rejection, we simultaneously deny them the possibility of succeeding, of persevering, and of accomplishing their dreams.
We nearly always regret what we don't do, and are grateful for the learning from what we do.
The quickest and most powerful way to change a child's behaviour is to see what it is that you are doing that is creating it. Now I say it is the quickest but it is not the most comfortable.
When our children misbehave, it is easier to see our children as the problem, and that something is going on within them that must now change. But children behave within a bigger context, and that context is often created by ourselves as the parents.
An empowered parent looks to see what they are doing that is contributing to the behaviour that they don't like, and as such, can now find different ways to influence the change in that behaviour.
In this interview with Christpoher Nevill (an expert in the field of personal development and accessing your better potential), I explore with him the courage it takes to see your children as mirrors of what is going on for you as well.
length: 9:42 minutes
I have done many interviews with him and you can find many of them here
I found last weeks lessons very tough and emotional. I feel part of nurturing your children’s self esteem is evaluating your own childhood. I have been guilty of the same things as my parents by rote praising. I don't think they have been believing the praise.
Like mother like sons. I have really concentrated on acknowledging and describing my kids little daily achievements. the results have been heart warming. I had my first opportunity on Wednesday morning.
While I was trying to get ready for the day Jack and Theodore were playing nearby and having a really wonderful time. Jack was being really gentle and caring with Theodore and sharing his little treasures, (not the usual behaviour) I said to Jack that he was a really wonderful brother. I saw how well he was sharing his things and being gentle with his little brother.
He looked at me and said "I know mommy" so I told him I just wanted him to know that I had noticed how sweet he was being. His little face lit up and he just said thanks and carried on. He has definitely been playing in a gentler way with Theodore since then. There have been numerous little successes like this but this is the one that stands out.