Do SOMETHING DIFFERENT . That's resonated with my soul, and there have been lots of little chances to implement it.
Adrian, now 7, doesn't listen. Ever. This morning I called him for breakfast, and he ignored me. I called again. He ignored again. Usually I would call another 3 times before my husband would come and shout at Adrian for not listening and I would shout at my husband for shouting at Adrian – I know this is silly, but it is how it has been for us.
Do something different I thought.
So I walked over to where Adrian was, and looked him in the eye and said in a firm voice " I have called you twice and you haven't come. I need you to come and eat your breakfast now, and to come when I first call in the future."
He didn't fuss or scream like he usually does, but came and ate his breakfast, and my husband didn't need to get cross, and its a much better dynamic. I know as I do it more and more Adrian will come earlier and earlier. There’s light at the end of my tunnel.