Conflict

Conflict (4)

These are stories from the session on conflict resolution

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Amanda has other parents watching her as she deals with her fighting and upset children

Written by Amanda

So you have some conflict between your children? Maybe they are fighting over a toy? Maybe you are at a child's party and the other parents are watching you. The pressure is on. Here is a sharing from Amanda, a parent who has done my workshops. Read how she worked with the conflict, how she supported the children with their ideas, and how she created the flow again, in spite of a high degree of 'uncertainty'. She uses the process of Conscious Conflict Resolution and gets a 'high five' result.

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3 children in my bed - and how I changed it to a morning of flow

Written by Jacqueline

Every few days I get a story from a parent who has had a breakthrough in using their new skills. This one really shows how Intelligent skills can create amazing results and blissful flow. And this is for real. I did not edit her story except just change the names.

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The challenge for me was that in both instances parents of the other children were present.

Written by Rene

I had 2 instances this weekend where I used the skills we have been exposed to so far. The challenge for me was that in both instances parents of the other children were present. I felt very uncomfortable as I knew what went through their minds whilst they kept quite through the process. However, I was successful in both instances, phewwww..... Saturday night Cailin and Jessie-Lee both wanted Cailin's little purse full of money. Jessie-Lee had it at first but was soon snatched from her by Cailin. Jessie-Lee started crying so I told Cailin that I will keep the purse on the table as we have a challenge in that both children wanted the same thing. Cailin started shouting at Jessie-Lee with the usual: " I don't like you! I am not your best friend!" By then we had both children crying. I asked Jessie-Lee what she would like from…

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Conflict is a challenging source for development

Written by Deanne

Overall this past week has actually emphasised the ‘’fun’’ in parenting and that I don’t always have to be so serious and it has also shifted my conditioned belief that conflict is ‘’bad’’ and I should rather ‘’avoid’’ it at any cost and hence compromise on my boundaries to an awareness that conflict is rather a challenging source for development.

A list of all blog posts below

Why your kid's school is not getting them business ready.
[This article by Robin Booth was published in Fast Company Oct 2017) "Have you just wasted the last 12 years of your life at school?” This was the question I asked over 2000 of South Africa’s top school graduates as their key note speaker at the Gibs business school annual career expo 2017. They quickly quietened down when I shared the reality of their future: 1) If you think you can choose a career, the…

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Making it to the top with the world’s No. 1 Wealth Coach, JT FOXX
Six months ago my story sounded very different. I had kept doing what I had always done and had kept getting what I had always got. Then something changed.My results in the last 6 months: - Have a $15 million property development on the table. - Started, grew and monetised three different businesses 2 of which are global. - Spoke on 7 different stages with audiences up to 1800 people, in different cities, sharing wealth…

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Mandela taught this South African man a good lesson
The Mandela name is famous throughout the world. But did he pass on those values and that humility to his children and grandchildren? And how did Madiba understand success? I was determined to find out when I interviewed his grandson Ndaba Mandela (see the video of the interview)

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Zuckerberg shares the top 5 secrets on business success and parenting
Zuckerberg has a secret, and I think I have discovered it! Zuckerberg is a household name throughout most of the world. Millions of people use Facebook and know that Mark Zuckerberg is the founder. And his sister, Randi Zuckerberg, is also known as the one who took Facebook to the next level. I got to connect to her (both on and off stage), and asked her about how she builds connection and trust, both as…

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Wayde van Niekerk:The 5 things the world’s fastest runner taught me
Wayde van Niekerk is an Olympic Gold medallist at the Rio 2016 Olympics, smashing a 17 year old world record for the 400m. And if that is not enough, he is the only person to do the following three: Run the 100m under 20secs, the 200m under 20secs, and the 400m under 44 seconds. Even his close friend Usain Bolt’s jaw dropped when Wayde won the Olympic race! I had the pleasure to connect to…

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No parent is an island- Blog
$500 000 to be donated (R7 000 000) - and YOU can even get a part of it! Robin summited Island Peak at 09:26 th on the 29th April 2017. The following days over 7500 online courses were distributed worldwide totalling over $550 0000. Below is the outline of the project! I have persuaded the directors of the non-profit education organisation, Synergy Schooling, that if I can summit Island Peak in May 2017 (it's a…

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The modern day parenting crisis
We want to parent to the best of our abilities. And at some point on our journey we promise this to our children. And we want the best for our children. But how can we prepare them and give them the best chance for happiness and success? This lecture looks at the top skills that the top companies are looking for in the youth of today. These are the qualities YOU as the parent can…

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How to get your children to cooperate by giving them choices
If you want your children to cooperatre and listen to you the first time around, then try this skill first! Why? Well.... because it works.. no matter the age of the child, and in nearly all situations. It's clever, it's fair, it's emotionally intelligent, and creates connection between you and your child.

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Which cooperation techniques do you use with your children?
If you don't know which techniques of yours are damaging your child, then how will you be able to change them? This lecture covers some of the default ways most parents are currently using to get their children to cooperate. Take note that they ALL are based in the negative and undermine the child. The result.... your child feels fear, guilt and powerless!

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Ouch! My bad parenting skills could be costing me over $100 000!
The most important thing about understanding our modern day parenting crisis is knowing how much this crisis could be costing us. But we know it costs us frustration and patience. In this lecture I show you how we calculate how much time we are wasting, as well as how much this could be costing us in money! 45 minutes x 7 days = 22 hours per month x12 months = 270 hours in a year.

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How can I get my child to do extra homework?
The value of getting a child to do extra homework is not about force feeding them with irrelevant information and time consuming content, but in supporting them in the skills of self discipline, planning, organisational development and perseverance. But regardless of the REASON as to why your child has extra homework to do, the skills needed to get them to do so can be the same. We have found that what works best is to…

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How to help my child when he is bullied at school?
As I write this, my child is currently being bullied at school. So the things I share in this lesson come from direct experience that produces results. And the irony is that supporting Cailin (aged 9) is actually the 'easy' part. It is trying to support and handle her mom that is the challenge. When your child is bullied, such intense emotions arise, often evoking thoughts of wanting to go to school the next year…

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Separation anxiety when going to school. Please help!!!!
As a pre-school teacher and then a primary school principal, my staff and I found many creative and intelligent ways to help families overcome the heartbreaking challenges of separation anxiety. The key focus in separation anxiety is in supporting the transference of trust and safety from parent to school. And this will nearly always be done by building the quality of the relationship the child experiences in the school environment. By increasing a child's sense…

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My daughter keeps asking to sleep in our bed. What should I do?
Getting children to sleep in their own beds, and to fall asleep on their own is one of the most frequent topics that comes up between parents. And although each family has their own theory about this, there are general things you can do to support the implementation of YOUR choice. The most strategic and intelligent way to resolve this is to find ways to give your child what they are needing, but on your…

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Any ideas on what I can do to stop yelling at my child?
Are you a shouter? 88% of parents find themselves shouting at their children and nearly all of them feel guilty afterwards. When some people get angry they turn this anger inward and go quiet (and the anger burns inside). Other people vent this anger outward, and often this comes out as yelling and shouting. And although this may be your default experience, you can change this with the skills I cover in this lesson. Increase…

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How can I handle my toddlers roller coaster emotions?
As our children develop, so they are learning about their own emotions during this stage. It can really help for a parent to see their role in supporting their children make meaning of these emotions, instead of blaming and accusing their children for having them. A good example of changing your wording can be seen below: Instead of saying "You are a bad boy." or "You are wrong." Label the behavior instead of the person:…

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The secret praise skill pyschologists use so they're always honest and authentic.
This lesson comes from my latest online course and covers my favourite skill and the one I use each and every day without any risk of over doing it. Describe what you see or hear without judging it as good or bad. Share what your favourite part is. In any situation you will always have one 'part' that you prefer to another. Therefore by using this skill you will never be lying, or be inauthentic.…

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What is the proper way to speak to a stubborn teenager?
Getting teenagers to listen to your suggestions, your advice and your boundaries is one of the stages of childhood that parents dread the most. The most important part of dealing with teenagers is the degree to which you can make them feel you are also on their side, EVEN when you put in place your firm boundaries. The challenge for parents of teenagers is in HOW to assert the authority and control in a way…

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How to talk to my teenager about the things they do that I don’t like?
The teenage years can be incredibly confusing for both the child, and for us as parents. Sometime our teenage children do things that totally boggle our minds, leave us wondering how they can be so 'stupid' or 'unconscious'. Why do they take such big risks... do they know that they can go to jail for life if they did that again? The parent in this lesson asked me the appropriate way to speak to his…

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Your cheeky child says, "Well mom.... that's your problem, not mine."
Parents are getting angry when children are just not taking responsibility for making things work. It's a great test of patience when you apply a new skill you have learned, only to find your child throws it back in your face, leaving you feeling depleted and angry. But don't panic! This is what conscious and intelligent parenting is all about. We begin to expect the unexpected, and learn how to handle all the curve balls…

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How can I stop shouting at my child and reacting in anger?
The sudden outburst of anger and shouting can surprise a parent as much as their child. If often arises from a deep raw emotion and quickly wells up and becomes overwhelming. And it can be incredibly difficult to stop it when you are deep in the heart of it. In this lesson I share three things that a parent can do in this situations. Learn new skills that will prevent you from getting to this…

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What cooperation skills work best on toddlers?
Understanding the Language-Transition phase will really help you keep your cool when you know your child has heard you, but still doesn't do what you have asked. This lesson looks at the developmental stages of young children and how their language development is faster than their levels of self discipline and control. You will also explore the difference between distraction based techniques, and language based techniques, and when to use one, or the other, or…

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How do we stop losing control when our boys whine?
A child that keeps nagging and whining pushes nearly every parent's buttons. And it seems that regardless of the issue your child is whining about, what seems to bug the most is the WAY in which they bring it to your attention. When they whine like that it kind of comes from a victim-entitlement attitude. So what we are wanting is to support our children in speaking 'CLEARLY' to us, so we can actually 'HEAR'…

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Is time-out for kids still a good thing to use?
'Time-out' is regularly used by parents and teachers throughout the world. But is it really constructive? Does it really develop your children's values of responsibility, or does it just increase thoughts of revenge and unfairness?

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I tell my son there are NO monsters under the bed – but he doesn’t believe me
When it comes to bedtime, children can come up with incredibly imaginative ways to keep you by their side. And monsters hiding under the bed is one of them.And as obvious as it may be to you as the parent that there are no monsters under the bed, and you can prove this to them, they still don't believe you.

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Robin Booth on WE CHOOSE RESPECT PARENTCAST
What is the future of education? What will schools teach in the future? Or more importantly, what should the school be teaching tight now! Robin is interviewed by one of the Top Parent Podcasts listed on iTunes.

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3 clever parenting skills that will help you survive the holiday season
Children on holiday, extended family cramped into your house, patience decreasing and tensions mounting? The holiday season has its risks: The statistics show increased divorce and suicide rates! Now this may not be due to parenting challenges but there is no doubt that this period of time has its parenting downs as well as highs. So here are my top 3 skills for managing the lows, and building up the highs, so you can move…

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How to support your child persevere when they want to give up
"My son gives up when an activity starts becoming difficult... how can I support him persevere?" You may have mixed emotions when you see your child struggling with an activity. Discomfort, irritation, frustration, empathy, and at times your heart goes out to them when you can see they are giving their all. And then they want to give up! But what can you do to keep them persevering, even when it gets tough? What words…

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Mom, he is not letting me have a turn on the ipad!
What would you do if your two children kept fighting over whose turn it was on the ipad? How do you decide whose turn it is, and what is fair for both children?

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You can't use my ipad ever again!
Here's a story about a mother who was worried about her 11 year old son playing too many games on her ipad. So should she forbid him to ever play it again, or maybe try this idea I shared with her...

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Your choice of words may be harming your child
Avoid these words below as they hamper your child's language development.Of course you want the best for your child! And I know you don't want to see a look like this picture above on your child's face. But your choice of words may be doing more harm than good. So I am going to share with you how you can change that with the following simple skil.

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What a child says after me getting her to be more respectful: Problem Solving
You want your child to be more polite and respectful. But how do you get that? And how do you get her to feel inspired to take on that challenge? Robin shows you the results of a problem solving session where she rated herself at a 4 out of 10 in being respectful at the beginning of the session, and ended off with a big smile and inspired by the possibilty of being 10 out…

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Star charts: The Observation Model in detail
This is the most powerful model of the star chart concept that I know. Its the simplest and most powerful of all the models as it requires the least skill, the least time and effort, and is the simplest to understand for both you and your child.

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The Top 5 things Robin Booth learnt about Parenting and Cooperation with Randi Zuckerberg
Randi Zuckerberg and her brother Mark started Facebook together. In many ways she has been accredited with the phenomenal growth of Facebook due to her marketing skills. And she is a parent. I met her last year (2013) in the USA, and have listed below the Top 5 things I learnt from her during that conversation on parenting, children and what motivates people. Read on...

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Amanda has other parents watching her as she deals with her fighting and upset children
So you have some conflict between your children? Maybe they are fighting over a toy? Maybe you are at a child's party and the other parents are watching you. The pressure is on. Here is a sharing from Amanda, a parent who has done my workshops. Read how she worked with the conflict, how she supported the children with their ideas, and how she created the flow again, in spite of a high degree of…

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Taflyn takes her injured and screaming child to the hospital, and is scared herself
A dog bites a 6 year old boy, and blood is gushing out of the wound. He thinks he is going to die and keeps asking his mom that. The mom, Taflyn is traumatised, but is reminding herself to stay focused and support her son while driving to the hospital for stiches. By the time they get to the hospital, he is telling everyone else he is okay, and after the stiches, still goes home…

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Star charts: The Perseverance Model
Just one model of a star chart is not enough. Your child may be excited to start, but if they don't experience some form of success continously, they may lose interest and drive. So how do you keep them motivated, even while they may be slipping up and not always succeeding at what they are learning? Learning is a process... so read on to find out how to keep their sprits up and feeling they…

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Star charts: Bribery and Manipulation, or a great tool? The Observation Model
Are star charts just another form of Bribery? And how can you keep a child motivated over a long period of time? And how do you determine what the prize/ celebration will be? In all my research on Star charts, there is only one basic model, and it really only works in certain situations, and for a short amount of time. That's not good enough for me. So I want to share some of my…

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Rene cleverly uses the DISC profile to get a pay increase
Rene has asked for a pay-rise on two previous occasions. She was now angry ,frustrated, and impatient. And then she realised that her boss was a high "C" in the disc profile and she was approaching him with her high "D" profile. So she figured out what to do and got her pay rise. Watch the video to see how she did it. length: 05:15

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Choices within a boundary - what if they reply... I don't want to...?
Have you had that situation where you apply a skill and it doesn't work? So you apply a variation of the skill, and it still doesn't work? Your child replies with, "I don't want to..." Well this happened to Mari and she asked me what she could do... This video was my reply, taking her deeper into the insights of the skill of "Setting the boundary and giving choices within the boundary." length: 13:25

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3 children in my bed - and how I changed it to a morning of flow
Every few days I get a story from a parent who has had a breakthrough in using their new skills. This one really shows how Intelligent skills can create amazing results and blissful flow. And this is for real. I did not edit her story except just change the names.

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Filming teachers using the Praise skills with Children
I want to show you the praise skills in live action, on children, at school in a class. And watch their faces as their smiles beam from ear to ear. You can also do this, consciously and intelligently by learning these skills! length: 5:46

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How to avoid the mistakes that parents make when using praise
Do you also experience praising your children at times and they just don't believe you? Are you making the same mistake as this parent in the way she is praising? Do you know how to avoid the most common mistake when praising your children? This video clip shares how to avoid making those same mistakes. length: 3:31

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Why these parents are getting these incredible results.
I have often wondered what it is that gets these parents these results. Cooperation, trust, flow, harmony. I think I know at least one answer. To get these results, this is what you have to understand, and do.

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I want the truth. Who started it?
“I walked in to the bathroom where my twin sons were having a bath. There was water on the floor, water on the mirror and my sons’ four year old faces grinning up at me. I asked them who had splashed water on the floor. No one said anything. I told them I wasn’t going to punish them, that I just wanted them to be honest.” I said I wasn't going punish them, but that…

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If you ever get stuck, ask yourself these questions
Here are a list of questions that are guarenteed to get yourself unstuck from any situation you find yourself in. A free e-book which is a quick and easy read.

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When I was 7 yrs old, my mother made this gift for my children.
33 years after my mother died (when I was 7 she died), I find out she knitted some clothes for MY children (which would be her grandchildren). Out of the blue I have something made from her own hands.

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A parent takes Robin's suggestion on how to get their son to sleep in his own bed.
Your child keeps nagging you to sleep in your bed with you? Robin shared how he solved that in his own home, and Amanda decided to try it out. And it worked. See the video clip of her sharing her new found skills.

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Is every day of my parenting life going to be like this? Hear Brad's response
Brad asks this question regarding some of the everyday challenges he faces in being a parent: "Is this going to be my life for the next 20 years?" and everyone laughs because we all seem to have these kinds of days. This video clip is taken from the workshop session on "The introduction to Intelligent parenting". And when parents have finished the session, we ask them what they got from the session and what they…

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The top 5 reasons why intelligent parenting will lead to success
I ask the parents in the workshop, "Why are you here tonight?". This stumps many of them. Some reply back humorously, "I asked my wife the same thing. I thought we were perfect parents." Amidst the grins and chuckles, my reply to them is to share why I WAS THERE that night, what could I offer and what could become possible for each and every parent there.

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