You want your child to be more polite and respectful.

But how do you get that? And how do you get her to feel inspired to take on that challenge?

Robin shows you the results of a problem solving session where she rated herself at a 4 out of 10 in being respectful at the beginning of the session, and ended off with a big smile and inspired by the possibilty of being 10 out of 10 and a role model for her family!

 Read more...

This is the most powerful model of the star chart concept that I know. Its the simplest and most powerful of all the models as it requires the least skill, the least time and effort, and is the simplest to understand for both you and your child.

Randi Zuckerberg and her brother Mark started Facebook together. In many ways she has been accredited with the phenomenal growth of Facebook due to her marketing skills. And she is a parent.

I met her last year (2013) in the USA, and have listed below the Top 5 things I learnt from her during that  conversation on parenting, children and what motivates people. 

Read on...

A dog bites a 6 year old boy, and blood is gushing out of the wound. He thinks he is going to die and keeps asking his mom that. The mom, Taflyn is traumatised, but is reminding herself to stay focused and support her son while driving to the hospital for stiches. By the time they get to the hospital, he is telling everyone else he is okay, and after the stiches, still goes home and gives that dog a big hug....

What happened here? What magic did Taflyn use? The skills she used she learnt through the workshops....

Read on...

So you have some conflict between your children? Maybe they are fighting over a toy? Maybe you are at a child's party and the other parents are watching you. The pressure is on.

Here is a sharing from Amanda, a parent who has done my workshops.

Read how she worked with the conflict, how she supported the children with their ideas, and how she created the flow again, in spite of a high degree of 'uncertainty'.

She uses the process of Conscious Conflict Resolution and gets a 'high five' result.

Just one model of a star chart is not enough.

Your child may be excited to start, but if they don't experience some form of success continously, they may lose interest and drive.

So how do you keep them motivated, even while they may be slipping up and not always succeeding at what they are learning?

Learning is a process... so read on to find out how to keep their sprits up and feeling they are succeeding and getting closer to their goal.

The Perseverance model....

Are star charts just another form of Bribery?

And how can you keep a child motivated over a long period of time?

And how do you determine what the prize/ celebration will be?

In all my research on Star charts, there is only one basic model, and it really only works in certain situations, and for a short amount of time.

That's not good enough for me. So I want to share some of my clever, intelligent and succesfull models.

Rene has asked for a pay-rise on two previous occasions. She was now angry ,frustrated, and impatient. And then she realised that her boss was a high "C" in the disc profile and she was approaching him with her high "D" profile. So she figured out what to do and got her pay rise.

Watch the video to see how she did it.

length: 05:15

Have you had that situation where you apply a skill and it doesn't work?

So you apply a variation of the skill, and it still doesn't work? Your child replies with, "I don't want to..."

Well this happened to Mari and she asked me what she could do...

This video was my reply, taking her deeper into the insights of the skill of "Setting the boundary and giving choices within the boundary."

length: 13:25

Every few days I get a story from a parent who has had a breakthrough in using their new skills.

This one really shows how Intelligent skills can create amazing results and blissful flow. And this is for real. I did not edit her story except just change the names.